If you’ve been in or around the church long enough, you have probably heard it said that adoption is a biblical practice modeled after how God adopted us. 
 
In Ephesians, Paul writes, “He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.” 
 
I’ve heard many Christians use this verse as a means to promote adoption, and while there is sound truth in that statement, it can miss another crucial part.
 
May is National Foster Care Month. It’s a time to bring awareness to the vast need for foster families, as well as help educate churches, organizations and individuals about how they can support kids in foster care and families who have opened their homes. 
 
There are many preconceived notions about foster care influenced by the Internet, bad experiences, movies, etc. Many of these stereotypes include things like foster kids aren’t wanted by their parents, foster kids are bad kids or all foster kids are orphans. And for foster families, we often hear how heartbreaking it can be because the goal of their foster care journey was to adopt. 

What’s the true goal of foster care?

But to truly understand foster care, we must first recognize the goal: reunification. Buckner is focused on family preservation and family reunification as a priority. The goal of a foster family is to walk alongside the children and provide them with a safe and loving environment to heal, while others (like Buckner or other agencies) provide a place for birth parents to have support and heal from their past traumas and the traumas their children have experienced in the process. 
 
Even reading that last sentence can bring up a lot of emotions for people. It’s hard to have compassion for a parent who has mistreated their kids. It’s hard to find empathy for someone who seems to not care, and it’s hard to justify sending a child back to a place that caused them harm. 
 
But what if we offered grace with boundaries? What if we realized there are parents who genuinely don’t want to lose their kids, but they need the help to stay together as a family? Would you be willing to be part of that support team? To pray for them, to offer guidance, to encourage them to continue to go to counseling? To walk alongside them as they take parenting classes, attend church or have case workers in their home? 
 
Vulnerable parents need stable jobs, secure housing and healthy friendships. 

According to the Children’s Bureau, “Relational permanency is fundamental to the well-being of children and youth in foster care.” The data shows that children do better when placed back into the home of a parent who has done the work to heal versus being left in foster care. And if a parent is not able to take care of the child, the next of kin provides an even safer space to heal. Kinship care can provide a familiar sense of safety in uncertain circumstances.
 
Of course, that’s not the story for every child. In 2022, 46% of youth exiting foster care in the U.S. reunited with their parents or primary caregivers. Some children will not have the privilege to return to their parents or relative, so what can we do to offer support and help for children then? 

What does the Bible say about foster care and adoption? How can Christians make sure to help and not hurt?

We’ve probably all had a run-in with a well-meaning Christian idiom. It’s easy to use these as an excuse to not get involved or even brush away the emotional journey of foster care.
 
“God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” The Bible never tells us that; instead, Jesus tells us that no matter what comes our way, God will continue to walk beside us, and when we are tempted beyond what we can bear, he will provide a way out. (1 Cor. 10:13)
 
“All things work together for his good.” Yes, but for HIS good, not ours. We often hear these verses as a way to say, if we trust God, it will work out how we want it to work out. When in fact, our way is not God’s way. We can’t always see the bigger picture. This word “good” is what confuses people. We must understand that bad things can happen, but God can use those circumstances to further his glory. 
 
Things like the death of a loved one or cancer still grieve God. But he doesn’t just let us sit in that grief alone. If we seek Jesus and his glory, he can use those horrible circumstances to provide a way to proclaim his name. How many children or friends have you known who died too early, but God allowed their death to start nonprofits, raise money to find a cure or allow their parents an opportunity to share Christ? God can find a way in a bad situation to bring out good that furthers his glory. 
 
But these idioms are not only erroneous, they’re also hurtful. When we’re dealing with a tough situation, it’s important we bring empathy and understanding. And instead of misquoting Scripture to provide an easy out for doing the hard work, let’s look at what we should be doing.
 
In 2024, there were nearly 30,000 children in the Texas foster care system. It goes without saying that the need for foster families is pressing. 

What are four things you should know about foster care as a Christian?

1. Foster care represents a theology of restoration.  

Many times, people forget what the goal of foster care is — spoiler alert: it’s not adoption. Reunification should be the goal of any foster parent, child or organization, even though it likely will involve more work. 
 
At Buckner, we have many programs available to parents who need that extra support system. If we’re going to seek reconciliation, we must commit to doing the work. 
 
The ministry of reconciliation is the whole of the Gospel. We have sinned and are separated from God, but through Christ Jesus, we are reconciled and can now be made right with God (2 Corinthians 5:11-21).
 
Reconciliation is beautiful, hard and messy. And since we are humans, it’s not a guarantee. When reconciliation isn’t possible, that’s when we look at adoption. 

2. Adoption should only be considered when reunification is not possible.

We can find the call to care for orphans written in James, Isaiah, Deuteronomy, Psalms, Zechariah and Jeremiah. Paul, in his letter to the Romans, said we didn’t receive a spirit of bondage and fear, but a spirit of adoption … and if we are children of God, then we are heirs — heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ. 
 
If God has adopted us, then it is a model for us in caring for those without parents or whose parents have terminated their rights. The Bible tells us to care for the vulnerable, and while it’s not practical to expect everyone to be in a position to adopt, we are all in a position to help.
 
3. “It’s too hard” is not a valid reason for not fostering.

Foster parents Doug and Vicki Evick have fostered 21 children in the span of eight years. All but one of those children, they continue to see on a regular basis. They show up for ballgames, birthday parties and special events. Some of the children stay at their house for a week during the summer. Vicki says when a child leaves their care, they go from Daddy Doug and Mommy Vicki to Pop and Grandma. 
 
“If the only reason that you're not fostering is because it would be hard for you to say goodbye. That's saying to a child, I can help you. I can keep you safe. I can love you. But I'm not willing to do that because it's going to be hard for me when you move on,” remarked Vicki.
 
4. Some are called to open their homes, others are called to support.

Many people assume foster care is a one or done deal. That if you can’t open your home to a child, you don’t have a place in foster care. But that’s simply not true. Foster parents succeed when they have a strong village around them. Some of the most successful parents have been ones that can rely on a neighbor to cook a meal, a certified babysitter to watch their kids, a church who provides diapers and clothes, a retired mom who helps drive kids to therapy, a friend who buys Christmas presents and a community group who prays. Everyone can play a part, but if you don’t step up to get to know a foster family, then you can’t get off the sidelines.
 
Foster care isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean we should shy away. God loves us and sent his Son to die on the cross, and that wasn’t easy either. But it was necessary. 
 
This month, commit to standing up for kids in foster care, foster families and biological parents as they learn to heal. And if you are interested in opening your home to a child in foster care sign up for one of our free information meetings. We hope to see you there as we walk this journey together.

Find out more about supporting foster care with Buckner.