More than Costumes and Candy
For many foster families, holidays like Halloween can feel like walking a tightrope. On one hand, there’s the fun. You’ve got costumes, candy, and a sense of community. On the other hand, there are concerns like spooky themes, overstimulation, and the question of whether it aligns with your family’s values or your child’s emotional needs.

Every moment can be an opportunity to nurture connection and belonging for children from hard places. You don’t have to buy into fear or darkness to celebrate the season. With a little intention, you can turn Halloween into something richer - a night where laughter and light shine through.

Focus on Connection

For many children in foster care or children with special needs, holidays can stir up painful memories or emphasize what’s missing. That’s why the most important gift you can give this Halloween isn’t a full candy bucket, but a sense of belonging.

Connection happens in the little moments. Sitting at the table, carving a pumpkin. Picking out costumes together. Walking through the neighborhood with flashlights in hand and warm cider waiting back at home. These seemingly small things tell a child: You are safe. You are seen. You are part of this family. Halloween can be a touchstone memory. It can be a reminder that your home is a haven, and that joy doesn’t have to come at the expense of values.

Wholesome spins on Halloween traditions

It’s okay if you’re not wild about ghosts, gore, or the darker themes that sometimes accompany Halloween. That doesn’t mean your family has to opt out entirely. Instead, consider flipping the script and creating your own traditions, ones rooted in joy and creativity.

You might host a costume night where kids dress as real-life heroes or favorite Bible characters. Who said a carved pumpkin must have a monster face?  Give your gourd a pair of kitty ears or a pig snout. Add more than a week’s worth of sugar to your candy bowl and include some handwritten notes of encouragement, or a short Bible verse.

The goal isn’t to sanitize the holiday, but to enhance it. Romans 12:21 reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” That’s what your family can do; shine a little light on a dark night.

Meet Kids Where They Are

Every child has a different threshold for noise, crowds, and costumes, especially children who have experienced a degree of trauma. Some kids may be excited by the idea of dressing up and trick-or-treating; others may find it terrifying or overwhelming.

That’s okay. There’s no “right” way to do Halloween. What matters most is how attuned you are to your child’s emotional needs. You can create meaningful alternatives that are just as memorable:

• A backyard scavenger hunt with treats
• A movie night with popcorn and pajamas
• A quiet evening of crafts and storytelling

As foster parents, you're doing holy work every day. You're showing children what unconditional love looks like, often in the middle of challenging circumstances. Halloween can be one more space where you model love by choosing connection over spectacle and belonging over busyness.

Remember What Really Matters

In the end, Halloween isn’t about candy or costumes. Halloween is about what your child will remember. Will they remember being overwhelmed, or will they remember being cherished? Will they remember the chaos or the comfort?

Whatever your family chooses to do this Halloween, do it with love. Let your home be the one that feels warm, safe, and welcoming. Let your actions remind the children in your care that even in a world that sometimes feels confusing or dark, God’s love and yours will always be a steady light.

Learn more about practical ways to keep your child’s wellbeing a priority this Halloween.