A more holistic view of foster care and adoption

Lately, I’ve been watching the television series “This is Us”. If you aren’t familiar with the show, it stars one of my favorite people, Mandy Moore. Mandy plays Rebecca, who is married to Jack and pregnant with triplets. One of the triplets dies in childbirth, and through a series of events, they leave the hospital with Randall, a baby who was dropped off at a fire station the same day Rebecca gave birth. The brilliant thing about the television series is that it shows scenes from Rebecca and Jack’s lives in the past, present, and future, so the audience can see the triplets through multiple points in their lives.

The show addresses challenging topics related to foster care and adoption. From Rebecca feeling insecure about Randall knowing his birth dad to the years Randall spent trying to find his birth parents. It follows adult Randall and his wife Beth on their own journey into foster care and eventually adoption, after their foster daughter’s mom terminates her rights as a parent. The show portrays the struggle for Randall and Beth to find love for their daughter’s birth mom, as well as finding space to keep her in their daughter’s life.

As the seasons go on, Randall’s sister also decides to adopt. She walks alongside the birth mother and is determined to have an open adoption after learning from her brother’s experience.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a show address the many facets of foster care and adoption with such depth. There were times I wanted to reach through the television and speak up for the birth parents, times where I felt myself siding with the adoptive moms, and moments where I realized that this is just a very emotional journey.

Adoption is not always as easy as Hollywood makes it look. We often forget about the child’s questions or the fears that keep adoptive parents awake at night. We don’t realize that the choices someone makes to give up their rights as a parent are not always because they are incapable or struggling with addiction, but sometimes it’s because they don’t have the support they need. There were so many moments watching the show where I wished I could refer them to our maternity services counseling departments or connect them with our Family Hope Centers or Family Pathways program.

Now, I realize this is a TV show, but it made me remember the purpose of Buckner — to care for families and children, to strive for repaired relationships, and to always put children first, even if it requires a hard decision.

As we close out National Adoption Month, I want to encourage each of you to think about the many facets of adoption from the child, the adoptive parents, and the birth parents. I realize the call to adoption may not be your journey right now, but we can still get in the fight. We can pray, donate, walk alongside families, and advocate for the thousands of children waiting for adoption in Texas alone.

Written by Jessica Gardner, director of program marketing, Buckner International