10 years of fostering love
Dee J and Kayla Preston continue to say “yes” to children who need loving homes, even if just for a season. Most recently, the couple, who lives near Amarillo, opened their home to fostering two infants, the 25th and 26th children who they have welcomed and cared for since 2014. The babies are living with the Prestons and their own children and young adults, making for a busy and loud home, according to Dee J. But they take it all as it comes day by day with hope and love. Families like the Prestons are a lifeline of hope. And they encourage others to join them.
Buckner Today spoke with the Prestons about their dedication to foster care and the encouragement they have for others seeking information about participating in the ministry of foster care.
BT: How did you get started on the journey of deciding to be foster parents?
Dee J Preston: Through our church in Pampa, Texas where we were living at the time, we became friends with our pastor and his wife who were a newly licensed foster family with Buckner. We started feeling like we’d be interested. We learned a lot from spending time with them while they fostered. Truthfully, before Kayla and I were married, separate from each other, we had thought about adoption.
Kayla Preston: Later, when we moved to Panhandle, Texas where we are now, our biological son Korbin and daughter Kenley were five and four, respectively. We met some friends who had been fostering for a year or two. They invited us to a Buckner “Be A Family” information meeting at the church. These friends played a significant role in our family going into foster care and remain an inspiration for us today.
Dee J: Ultimately, through various threads of our lives, we both felt a strong calling to start the process. Later, we knew this would be our avenue for eventual adoption.
BT: What have been some of the challenges of fostering children and how has your faith helped you through them?
Dee J: Foster care provides many challenges such as red-tape legal requirements and seeing the hurt of the children at various stages of the process. It can be challenging not to let the weight of these things envelop you. You have to focus on the fact that the legal requirements and processes are there to vet the best parents possible to foster vulnerable children in need of a loving, safe and secure home environment. It’s for the children’s sake.
Kayla: One of the best ways God has helped us through these challenges is that he provides a balance. Usually when one of us is struggling from a different place, the other of us feels strong.
Dee J: So many times, one of us has been ready to throw in the towel (usually me because I’m less patient), and the other is able to remind and articulate to the other why we are fostering in the first place.
Kayla: In these times of challenge, we turn back to Christ’s example. We remind one another that true service to the Lord will often or always come with sacrifice and challenge.
BT: What are the most rewarding moments that remind you why you said “yes” to fostering?
Kayla: Of course, the most significant reminder would be that we were allowed to extend our family by three, when we adopted one of our sons and his sister, then added another daughter to our family. The Prestons are a family of two sons and three daughters now. Watching them grow and have dreams about their futures is a joy for us.
Dee J: Like the responses to the challenges, foster care also comes with an abundance of good times or joy. There have been countless times that we are reminded of why we said “yes” to fostering. These range from small things like seeing a kiddo smile when they recognize you coming into the room, to significant things like seeing a family reunited after the parents have completed their services, turned their life around, and are headed in the right direction.
BT: What would you say to someone who feels God might be calling them to foster or adopt?
Dee J: Dive in headfirst. If God has laid it on your heart, and he obviously has, since you are feeling called to it, surrender to it. There is an enormous need, and the workers are few. These children need someone to love them, to care for them, to show them what family is, to struggle alongside, to laugh along with, to celebrate with, to grow with. Serve so that God may be glorified. Bless these children as God has blessed you.
Kayla: People mostly tell us they’re afraid to foster because they don’t want to be hurt when the child leaves. Buckner tells us those are the perfect foster parents. You can never care too much for a vulnerable child who has experienced limited love. Buckner is also there to provide counseling and walk along with you until you complete the grieving process and are ready to begin again.
BT: How can others support foster families in their church or community?
Dee J: Prayer is always the best thing we can do. All who are impacted by foster care: the foster children, biological families, foster families, and inner circles to both sides need your prayers.
This is always a difficult question to answer, as our hearts say, let’s all get involved in a big way. The reality is that not everyone is called to serve the same way. But there is always a way to serve though it may look different from person to person.
Kayla: We have been blessed by friends and family who have prayed, signed up to be a licensed and approved sitter, and others who have randomly dropped off diapers and other things on our porch. Still others have listened to our concerns and complaints, walked alongside us in the journey, and the list goes on and on.
Dee J: There are so many who have blessed us over the 10-plus years in ways that we can’t even recount. If you want to serve in the foster care world but aren’t yet feeling called to serve as a foster family, we encourage you to engage with a family in your church or community.
BT: What has worked for you in helping churches get engaged with this ministry of supporting foster care and adoption?
Dee J: We always keep the conversation alive about foster care and adoption. Our church holds informational meetings where the Buckner team comes to speak about it. Other churches in the area have also committed different ways to support foster parents.
Kayla: Your church can even host a diaper drive or clothing drive. As foster parents, we don’t always know when we will receive a call for a child, and we don’t know the age or gender of the child who might come to us. That’s why diapers and basic clothing needs are a significant support for foster-care families in your church or elsewhere in the community.
