“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and trust in Him.” –Psalm 40:3
It was unreal.
There I sat, a year and a half after I had the thought: “Hey, I should go on a mission trip.” I felt like a completely different girl over the course of a year and a half. Wow.
I had been in the darkest season of my life, but I had also experienced incredible recovery. I’d definitely grown up. And I had learned so much. I looked back over the past year, the worst year of my life, but I didn’t think I would change any of it.
I experienced deep pain, and became more vulnerable with people than I ever had. I think in the midst of it all, God gave me wisdom. Despite how tough the last year was, I wouldn’t trade that prized wisdom for anything. It was far too valuable, because by it, I see so many things differently than ever before. The path I’d traveled for so long brought me there.
It was a week before I stepped off American soil. And suddenly, I had no words. I didn’t know how to describe my conflicting emotions. Nervousness? Fear? Excitement? I wasn’t quite sure … Perhaps I would know when I stepped off the plane and found myself halfway across the world.
Perhaps I would know when I found myself not among manicured lawns or $5 lattes, but among children I never thought I’d meet. Perhaps I’d know when I walked through the streets of a city I’d only gazed at in books and animated movies.
Perhaps I would finally know what it meant to be trusting in an indescribable God when I heard the words of a language I did not understand.
I didn’t know what to expect from this month-long journey. I wished I had everything figured out and under control. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. So many things were uncertain. And maybe that was just what God wanted from me.
I may not have known details of my trip, but what I did know was that there was a whisper telling me to let go. Let go. Let go of stress, of anxiety, of fears, of control. And maybe then, when I let go, I would know what it was like to have the Lord set me free.
Lindsey Hall is currently serving in Russia with Project Go, a month-long volunteer trip geared toward college students.
To learn more about how you can change the world during one unforgettable month, visit buckner.org/projectgo.
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