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When I am scared

I want to confess something to you: I am so scared. For the last four months our world has completely turned upside down, and the life we were planning to have feels more like a distant dream. This pandemic, police brutality, racial tensions, poverty and a continuous volatile political climate in our country are all reasons why we should be scared.

Working for Buckner, I am called to shine hope in the work I do. But to be honest, sometimes I feel I have no hope to share. Most of my days these last four months have been filled with stressful times. Taking care of our 6 and 2-year-old boys, while trying to accomplish work and trying to stay in sync with my full-time-working wife’s schedule has proven to be frustrating and exhausting.

Recently, my boys attended virtual VBS, and as I sat with them to do their craft, sing songs and create crazy snacks out of goldfish crackers, I remembered the words of Jesus found in the chapter 16 of John’s Gospel: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

In an age where superficial relationships are sometimes the only option we have, I am reminded that our stay in this world is temporary. I am reminded that you and I belong to a long line of scared people that did extraordinary things for the kingdom of God.

We are able to do this when we lean into the uncomfortable and vulnerable, trusting that as we allow God to guide our daily lives, we are able to shed our old selves and become more like the hopeful people God created us to be.

I do not know what the immediate future will hold for us. But I do know that in the end Christ wins, and so will us. 

Written by Diego Silva, director of the Buckner Family Hope Center in Peñitas, Texas.

See how Buckner is responding to the coronavirus pandemic and how you can shine hope in uncertain times. 

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