Where is God when I doubt?

My early days of faith were marked by ritual – reading responsive liturgies and singing old hymns. When I was in middle school, the idea of more contemporary worship hit, and we switched to guitars and “contemporary” praise and worship. I think both are beautiful in their own ways, and the church I attend now uses both. One hymn in particular reminds me of the faithfulness of God.

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,

In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,

Most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,

Almighty, victorious, thy great name we praise. 

I love this hymn because I am a chronic doubter. Some might view doubt as a sign of weak faith, but honestly, in every season of my life, whether I am super faithful or not so much, doubt has been a part of how I think and who I am.

The incredible thing about God and his faithfulness is he doesn’t change. He is immortal and the Ancient of Days. Even on days where nothing seems to make any sense, he remains the same. Unchanged. All-wise. Ever faithful.

To know this about God has given me such freedom and grace. No longer do I have to worry about asking hard questions. Though they may be really tough to answer, they are not tough enough to change God. All of my doubts and insecurities don’t affect God’s nature, and I feel at times I’ve even heard him prompting me with “Yeah! Go for it! Figure out whatever you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

God is who he is, and who he was, and who he will be. As he was faithful and patient with Thomas the Doubter, so he is faithful and patient with me. Should you find yourself in a time of unknowing or doubt, he will be faithful and patient with you, immortal and full of the wisdom only he can offer.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” –Lamentations 3:22-23

Written by Rachel Wallis, director of Buckner Shoes for Orphan Souls®, as part of a special Faith Focus series focusing on the faithfulness of God.

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